What do You Do with a Drunken Pirate?
by bushidogirl
Summary: Captain Marvelous, Luka Milfy, and a lot of booze. Anything can happen... Except for what you are thinking! Hilarious hi-jinks ensue. MarvelousxLuka. R&R.


Author's Note: So, this is my third Marvelous/Luka fic. Once again, they are a viable pair and have just as much evidence and as the rest of the Gokaiger pairings, and deserve just as much respect. As you can tell from the title, there is a lot of booze in this fic, so don't try this at home, kids!

For maximum enjoyment listen to Tubthumping by Chumbawamba while reading this fic. The song gives the right amount of ambiance.

And once again, I don't own, Gokaiger or Super Sentai, Toei does, blah blah blah...

* * *

><p>Captain Marvelous let out a loud belch.<p>

"That is some great rum!" he exclaimed.

"How about we have one more glass!" suggested Luka.

"No!" said Joe, Don, and Gai, unanimously.

"I would prefer not to have another glass either," said Ahim, politely.

"WHIMPS!" shouted Luka, "Not you, Ahim, though, cuz you're a lady and polite and stuff."

"You're a lady too, Luka," said Doc.

"EH?" exclaimed Luka, her eyes widening,

"What were you thinking, Don-san?" whispered Gai.

"This is why I don't drink. I say things I don't want to say," whispered Don.

"All you had to drink was a sip of rum."

"Joe, you want some more rum?" asked Marvelous.

"Just one more," said Joe, although he could handle a lot more. He could tell his crewmates were getting tired—well not his captain and the look-out.

Marvelous poured the rum into his glass, but nothing came out. Luka tilted her head in confusion.

"Where did all the rum go?" asked Luka.

"You guys drank it all," snarked Joe.

"Oi, barkeep!" shouted Marvelous, "another bottle of—"

The rest of the table moaned, except Luka.

"Marvelous," said Joe, "I think it's time we call it a night."

"Yes," said Ahim, "Although this is a lovely bar. Thank you guys for your generosity," said Ahim to the bar owners. She let out a cute little hiccup. Ahim had one glass of rum, and was a tiny bit tipsy. Gai and Don got up as well.

"No way am I calling it a night," said Marvelous.

"Yeah," said Luka, "We're just getting started!"

"Okay," said Joe, "But when you do come home, we'll be asleep."

"So don't be loud," said Don.

"Have fun you two, and be safe," said Ahim.

"Bye, don't get into any trouble!" said Gai, as he and the others left the bar.

Both Marvelous and Luka had the same devilish grin on their faces.

"Now that they're gone," said Marvelous, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You know it! Barkeep, bring out the strong stuff!"

"Yeah, barkeep, you heard her, bring out the strong stuff!"

The bartender brought out the reserve bottle of sake that Marvelous and Luka drank without the rest of the crew. It was old, strong, and expensive, but only they could handle it. It was their little secret. And they gradually became even more drunk as they were before. Their speech became slurred, their reflexes weren't as quick.

But feelings that they kept hidden began to surface.

"So," said Marvelous, "uh, what's been, like your favorite ranger key to use?"

"I like Big One, because I get to be leader!" Luka laughed.

"Hey! You're like, only leader for the attack with the cannon. That's it!"

"It's a finisher attack, Marvelous!"

"Pssh…"

"What about you?"

"I like… uh…" Marvelous was staring at Luka, who was waiting for him to respond.

"Well?" said Luka, nudging Marvelous. The nudge, it made Marvelous have a desire to say something.

"I like… "

Usually, Marvelous was quicker with his responses, even when he was drunk.

Luka felt warm all of the sudden, as she looked at Marvelous's gaze.

"I need to go pee," said Luka, excusing herself from the table.

"Don't take long, this booze is really good!"

The truth was, Luka didn't really have to pee. She had a strong bladder.

"_What's wrong with me?"_ she thought, as she looked in the mirror.

Luka shook. She felt dizzy. Not because she was drunk. This was a good kind of dizzy, and Luka wasn't used to it.

"Crap!" Luka announced to her reflection, "I can't! But I want to!"

There was one person who could help her. Luka picked up her Mobirate and called Ahim.

"Huh… Hello?" said a drowsy Ahim into the receiver.

"Ahim, it's Luka."

Ahim was no stranger to Luka drunk dialing her. She hoped Luka wasn't going to tell Ahim she heard the most amazing song and hold the phone up to the radio.

"Luka-san, why are you calling so late? Did something happen."

"Ahim, I like Marvelous!"

"I know, Luka-san."

"And I think he might like me! Or he's just really drunk. What should I do? I can't hold it in any longer!"

"Whatever you think you should do, Luka-san."

"But what if he doesn't remember?"

Ahim yawned. She was worried about that too, after all, they were both drunk. They might not remember a thing. But she was too tired to talk.

"Ahim, you sound like a princess even when you yawn! You are the cutest thing ever! When we get home, I'm gonna give you a big hug!"

"Yes, Luka-san, I'm really looking forward to that."

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning. Thank you Ahim!"

"You're welcome, Luka-san." Ahim yawned and pressed the call end button on her Mobirate. She went back to sleep.

"_Good luck, Luka-san,_" she thought _"whether you tell him or not."_

And Ahim finally went to sleep, hoping that Luka did not call again. Hey, girl's got to get her sleep!

Luka adjusted her hair, straightened her jacket, took a deep breath, and tried to maintain some composure. She closed her eyes and opened the door.

"Eh?" said Luka, as she turned her head. Marvelous wasn't there.

"Hey, barkeep! Where's Marvelous?"

"Oh, that guy you were with? He got in a fight with a bunch of people because his giant robot stepped on their cars and destroyed them. They dragged him outside. Now are you going to pay?"

"Put it on the tab."

"Of course," sighed the bartender, as Luka stumbled out of the bar.

It took Luka a few minutes to register what was going on. A group of men were beating up Marvelous. And to Luka's surprise, Marvelous couldn't even fight back. His punches, his kicks were off. He reached for his Mobirate, but it fell out of his hand. It was weird, seeing Marvelous, the man who played darts with a heavy bracelet to keep his strength up, like this. And it was also weird that these disgruntled businessmen had that much strength to subdue Marvelous.

"Oi," said Luka, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Luka…" groaned Marvelous.

"This asshole destroyed our cars with his giant robot!" said one of the disgruntled men.

"So? It's your fault for leaving your cars in Gokai-oh's way!"

"That's exactly what he said! And you know what, we're going to turn Captain Asshole in for his bounty to the Zang—whatever the hell you call them! So we can buy a billion cars! Retribution! Woo!"

"Well, if you're gonna take Marvelous, you're gonna have to take me too!"

Luka pulled out her Mobirate.

"GOKAI-CHANGE!"

Yellow light enveloped Luka, and she became…

"GOKAI YELLOW!" slurred Luka, as she fumbled the pose, "Crap. I'm just as drunk as Marvelous."

"Oh, it's another one of the pirates!"

"I think she has the third-lowest bounty! Maybe we could buy a billion air fresheners for our billion cars with her bounty!"

"You act as if you suffered because you lost your cars!" slurred Luka, "Well, growing up, I didn't even have one! I didn't have a lot of things. And now I have a lot of things. And I'm not letting you take away one of my greatest treasures!"

The speech would have been enough to stop the mob of car-less men from attacking Luka. Too bad her speech was incomprehensible. They charged towards her.

Luka pulled out her GokaiSabre, but struggled to even hit them. The sword fell out of her hands, and she pulled out her GokaiGun, but she couldn't even aim it right.

"Luka…"

Luka couldn't fight like this, and Marvelous couldn't fight like this. But Luka knew that there was one way she could use her drunken state to her advantage.

The GokaiBuckle revealed the Kirinranger ranger key. Luka put it in her Mobirate.

"DAIRANGER!" announced the Mobirate.

The Dairanger emblem surrounded Luka, transforming her into Kirinranger.

"Kirinranger, Heavenly Time Star, Luka!" said Luka, doing Kirinranger's pose spot-on.

"Luka…" smiled Marvelous.

Luka charged forward, using Kirinranger's drunken fist power. It looked like she was doing a flowing dance, a dance which involves beating people up.

"Whoops—" slurred Luka as she glided throughout the mob of car-less men, punching them.

"Good job, me!" Luka announced.

Luka looked so flexible, her moves so elaborate. This was one of the best fights that Luka had as Kirinranger. Maybe fighting drunk as Kirinranger drastically improves his abilities.

"HEADBUTT DROP!" announced Luka, doing one of Kirinranger's personal attacks on one of the men.

Then there was one man left. And we was pretty strong. Then again, cars can be very important to men, sometimes they can signify something that's also very important to men. And when men lose their cars, sometimes, they feel like they've lost something they need to live. And this man really wanted his back. And he wasn't going to let a woman prevent him from taking back his vital—mode of transportation.

And he hit Luka with such a force that sent her flying across the street into some trash cans.

"WHOOPS! I can fix that! HEAVENLY TIME STAR REVERSAL!"

Luka held out her hands, and reversed what had happened in the past few seconds. This time, Luka had the upper hand.

"QILIN BOMB PUNCH!" announced Luka, as her fists became charged with light and electricity. She punched what was left of the mob of men, and knocked them out.

"PHEW!" said Luka, detransforming.

"So, what are you guys going to do?"

"Not turn you in for bounty."

"And?"

"Apologize for our cars getting in the way of your mecha."

"Very good!" said Luka, "And?"

"Apologize to Marvelous."

"And?"

"Pay your tab?"

"That's right! Very good!"

"We're sorry for getting our cars in the way of your mecha, and for fighting with you!" said the men, bowing and putting their noses on the ground.

"Now get out of my sight!"

The defeated men limped away, still shocked they could be defeated by a drunken pirate.

"Marvelous, are you alright? You can get up, right?"

Luka gave Marvelous her hand. He grabbed it, Luka helping him stand up. She put her arm under his arm as an anchor, as he slowly stumbled.

"Luka?"

"Yeah?"

"That was amazing!"

"I know it was!"

"I think I found my new favorite ranger key!"

"Nu-uh it's my key!"

"It's our key! And now if the Zangyack attack, and I'm drunk, I can use the key and kick their ass!"

Luka laughed.

"Luka?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're on my crew."

"Pssh…"

"Like, I'm really glad because you can kick ass, and are sharp and stuff. And you like treasure almost as much as me and stuff."

"Almost as much as you?"

"Fine, Luka, you like it just as much as I do!"

"Hold on, one second."

Luka bent over and threw up. Marvelous held her hair.

"This is so embarrassing."

"No, what's embarrassing is being beaten up by drunken businessmen. Are you finished?"

"Yeah."

"It's okay, your just letting the bad stuff out."

"Marvelous?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we can hang out together when we're not drunk? Like can we go see a movie, or go to one of those video game arcades?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"I mean by ourselves."

"Oh? Oh… Let's talk about it again, when I'm not drunk," said Marvelous, as they approached the ship.

"Oh…" said Luka, disappointed.

"That's not what I mean. I'm just worried I'll forget saying yes."

"Me too."

* * *

><p>The next morning.<p>

"Are they going to wake up?" asked Gai, poking them.

The poke caused a loud snoring noise to come out of either Marvelous or Luka.

"Gai, don't poke them!" shouted Don, "You don't want to wake them up!"

"Wha—" asked Marvelous, in his sleep.

"If you don't want to wake them up, you shouldn't be shouting," said Joe, doing his morning sit-ups.

Gai pulled out his GokaiCelluar and took pictures of Marvelous and Luka sleeping next to each other on the couch, Luka's head on Marvelous's shoulder.

"I always thought it would be Marvelous and Ahim or Luka and Don-san lying together on the couch like this…" said Gai, looking at the picture.

The mire thought of the situation caused fear to rush through Don's veins.

"You are too much into Super Sentai, aren't you?" snarked Joe. Don smiled.

"Besides," said Ahim, setting up the table for breakfast, "The heart wants what it wants, right Joe-san?"

Joe was about to say something, but then switched over to do push-ups, hiding his small smile.

The waffle iron-beeper went off.

"Oo! The waffles are done!" announced Don.

"Don-san made Belgian waffles this time," smiled Gai, "I'll help you!"

"Hakase, do you have the berries I like?" asked Joe.

"Yes."

The group sat at the breakfast table, eating their delicious Belgian waffles, whilst the Marvelous and Luka slept on the couch, emitting un-human-like snoring noises.

"I guess they're kind of cute together," said Gai, looking at his picture.

Don braced themselves for the aftermath. As soon as they woke up, the hangover was about to begin.

"I wondered if Luka-san finally told Marvelous-san…" said Ahim.

"Same," said Joe.


End file.
